It’s not uncommon for people well into their eighties or even nineties to refuse to move to a senior living community because they “don’t want to live with old people”. As if they’re not old themselves.

What gives?

Are these people in complete denial of their age? Well, not necessarily. Here are a few possible explanations.

1. They don’t want to be treated like other old people.

They know exactly how old they are. They just don’t want to be treated as if they’re frail, slow, in need of protection, or no longer capable of making their own decisions. They’ve seen ageism at work. It can be subtle or blatant, but they don’t want to be on the receiving end of it.

2. They’ve held negative attitudes about “old people” their whole life.

And now they’re old themselves. How did that happen? Disparaging other people their age may be their way of pretending they’re different, a special case to which stereotypes don’t apply, even if they don’t truly believe it.

3. They’re afraid that other people their age will drag them down.

If they hang around other seniors too much, they think they’ll be drawn into repeated conversations about failing health. They’d rather not be constantly reminded of what might be in store for them in the not-too-distant future. They’d prefer to live in the moment.

4. They’re determined to live by the philosophy “you’re as old as you feel”.

Hence, they continue to behave “young at heart”. Some days it’s easier than others, but they’d rather treat age as just a number. They may see “old people” as lacking the same positive mindset.